Friday, 20 April 2007

New Job Posting

Wellbeing Manager

Location: Suffolk
Salary: £48,777 - £53,388 plus benefits
Closing date: 7 Mar 2007

Have you realised that public service provides a cosy pension in a dismissal-free zone and have a passion to hamstring the delivery of services to the community?

Salary £48,777 - £53,388 and a generous relocation package of up to £5,000*
For all posts a drive and commitment to the development and improvement of the Council as totally unfocused, paranoid and distracted authority is essential.

You will have a desire to create work for others and send endless emails to people on a frighteningly regular basis. Experience of wasting other peoples' money and byzantine bureaucracy are also essential requirements for these posts.

You will develop the Council's approach to user focus and diversity by devising a strategy for consulting and engaging with the many diverse groups to offer an excellent service to our whole community i.e. no specific, measurable, achievable targets. You will support and facilitate the Local Strategic Partnership, a group of similarly parasitical busybodies, and promote the Council's distracting and irrelevent responsibilities in Suffolk's Local Area Agreement. You will lead on diversity issues including children and young people initiatives, community engagement, community safety and social inclusion, i.e. another list of meaningless, unmeasurable, vague wiffle that gives ample scope for interference and zero value-add. You will also be asked to subversively assist the EU in their regionalisation agenda headed by PVC-skinned, teflon-haired Miliband clones and their male counterparts. Compliance with this will open scope for off-site, on-expenses junkets at hotels that your diverse community would not know about, let alone afford to stay in.

Wiffly District Council is an Equal Opportunity employer (thick, stupid, lazy, corrupt, capable, incapable, suitable or not - all have an equal opportunity), offering a range of family friendly policies and welcomes applications from all sections of the community. We are currently under represented at Senior level by disabled people, people from ethnic communities and women and would particularly welcome applicants from these areas so will reject all those from white middle-aged married males trying to feed their family as they clearly disempower their partners by reducing them to domestic chores and create adverse role-models for their birth-childs.

* Your existing desk is a long way from your new office.

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