New Job Posting No.2

Smokefree Apparatchik

Organisation: ENFORCEMENT YOBS
Salary: £26- £28 p/h
Date posted: 31 May 2007
Closing date: 30 Jun 2007


A farcical position has a risen for a Smokefree Apparatchik.

The role will involve the implementation of the Denial of Smoking Action Plan. This will involve intelligence gathering and dissemination of propaganda, indoctrination, patronising and misleading fellow apparatchiks of Councils and Primary Care Trusts (PCTs) and especially the poor hapless non-voting taxpayers of the Business Community. Preference will be given to candidates who have previous form.

The ideal candidate will have excellent communication and interpersonal skills and be competent at delivering a sound and achieveable project plan.

We require candidates who have been an Environmental Health Officer or other Health Practioner. Alternatively, we may consider a professional with a history of working within a Council but we don't care what sort as long as you are brainwashed and have had your moral compass demagnetised. A good understanding of the box-ticking issues around Environmental and Consumer Protection Law will be a delight to us. Must have knowledge of current developments around Denial of Smoking oppression.

The contract is for a 6 month period, but be yea not afraid, it will most certainly run and run. Due to the level of intollerance required for this vinctive and utterly non-productive role, the taxpayer is being forced to pay you between £26-£28 p/h, while WE will get a hefty cut of the spoils.

Enforcement Yobs acts as both an Employment Agency and Employer and we cannot see any wrong in that whatsoever.


Lets look at the original, as it is such an appalling mess...

Smokefree Coordinator
Organisation: ENFORCEMENT JOBS
Salary: £26- £28 p/h
Date posted: 31 May 2007
Closing date: 30 Jun 2007

A formidable position has a risen for a Smokefree Coordinator. [I'm steaming, does that count?]

The role will involve the implementation of the smoke free action plan. [capitals anyone?] This will involve report writing and presentation, training, giving advice and information to stakeholders of council primary care trust (PCT) [yet more capitals needed...], and the business community [and probably advice to the writer of this ad who has little grasp of punctuation]. Preference will be given to candidates who have previous projects experience. [flippin Nora...]

The ideal candidate will have excellent communicative [what do you want? a disease? - the word is communication, dear] and interpersonal skills and be confident in delivering a project plan. [we don't care which one, just any would do...Metrics. Metrics]

We require candidates who have been a Environmental Health Officer or other Health Practioner. Otherwise a professional with a history of working within a council [...will what? come round and tell you off?, criticise the curtains?]. A good understanding of the enforcement issues around Environmental and Consumer Protection Law. Must have knowledge of current developments around smoke free legislation. [there is not one correct sentence in this entire paragraph]

The contract is for a 6 month period, due to the level of experience required for this is paying between £26-£28 p/h. [i.e. in the region of £50k a year - one thing is smoking - our money, as in "up in smoke"]

Enforcement Jobs is a member of the Red Snapper Recruitment Group [more like Red Grasping Piranha] and acts as both an Employment Agency and Employer [cuts both ways, I suspect...] .The Red Snapper Recruitment Group is an equal opportunities employer. [equal opportunities seem to extend to the borderline literate]


WHAT AN ABSOLUTE PILE OF CRAP.


p.s., if you notice more ridiculous bullshine, let ol' Roger know...